adventures

i went on a new adventure today.

thought id try hiking...

i do live in eugene...

just like life

you think your going the right way 

but soon you find out your way off

there is no perfect way

we are just making it up as we go

its open

its another day passed

meetings and appointments all teh same

though for once i opened up

i spoke truth

the only place to go from here is to be known

some move forward while others run away fast

you want to undersand

not to face teh facts

just to move forward 

learn to let go

theres nothing to talk about

there isnt anything to really understand

sleep is unknown

rest is impossible

peace is unbelievable

love...what is love

a girl on a hill

shes found sitting on a hill listening to her headphones

blocking out all that surrounds her

finding a purpose and peace in the midst of it all

a place to escape

a place to see gods grace in all that surrounds her

shes trying to make sense of it all

looking for answers in all the wrong places

to do what she knows would look completely different than what she is feeling

where does one draw the line with what they are taught to what they know

heres to the journey of life

walls

there is always a struggle but its all in question how we will see it through

there are always walls in ones life...

we struggle to get over when some arent meant for us to get over

some are meant for our safety

though we still for the longest time try to jump over or break through

in the long run we finally realize and see its purpose, the blessing those walls are

just words

you say i love you 

but yet you walk away

you say im always here 

but when i need you the most your nowhere to be found

you say ill always care for you 

but your actions are always saying otherwise

just words i tell you

sadness

standing straight with fear over glooming her face she tells me how her husband of 5 months committed suicide.

my heart dropped and my eyes filled to the brink with sadness. 

questions of what the fuck instantly enter my mind, my heart and my soul.

how could this happen

bigger question, why would god allow a man to reach past his limits

i thought he never tempts us past our limits

the loss of a friend, better yet a loved one changes you

for good or bad

ever love something so much you never wanted to let go.

been stuck in your happy past memories and of course not being able to return

so much to want, to feel as if we need it in order to move forward.

but the past is the past,

i guess we get to choose how was use it